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sometimes i stand
sometimes i fall
sometimes i wonder if anyone understands at all

what about me
why did this even have to happen at all
i don't care about some baby i care about him
i don't want to be alone should he fall

sometimes i feel like we will be fine
we're lucky we'll get through it and we'll be ok
this is just a minor detour
but sometimes it doesn't feel that way

what if it doesn't get better what if it gets worse
what if we battle this for years until it finally breaks him and me
it's such an unknown and i want to know
i want it to be known and i want it to be good
this is not how my life is supposed to be

i'd have a husband who loves me and treats me so well
we'd have carloads of children with stories to tell
learning and growing and caring
yearning and going and sharing
this is the way it was meant for me
not the way it has turned out to be

i can't stand to see him this way
tired and pained and suffering all day
i think of what might be and don't know what to do
i don't want to live if he's not here too

the worst part is the man i can turn to can lean on who keeps me sane
is the one who can't help me the one who's in pain
dear god what on earth am i supposed to do
this horrible nightmare is killing me too


from Turning Thirty, The Musical, released September 1, 2000




Tom Willner Atlanta, Georgia

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